We had an absolutely fantastic, if not exhausting and a bit wet, week at the US Open. I was there every day and for several hours each day trying to ensure the #2 hole was under control. Along the way, some funny stories emerged. I've briefly captured the ones I can remember below. I'm sure there are a ton more. It was a great experience and I hope I will have the opportunity to do it again.
Martin
Laird
It’s the final round and the USGA moved the tee boxes up. The ropes
were not set up for a forward tee box so after the first group had to climb
under the rope, we adjusted them so we had a rope that someone needed to open
and close for players and caddies to walk through. At one point, the “someone”
was not in the correct position to open the rope. I noticed and went trotting
over to open it before Martin Laird headed for the tee box. Jeff (Argus) SPRINTS
to try and get the rope. As Martin Laird tries to climb under, Jeff lifts the
rope (with spastic effort) and nearly decapitates Martin Laird. Martin steps
back and says “WHOA!” Recognizing Jeff wanted him to go under, he steps to go
under while Jeff tries to lower the rope so Martin can go over. This nearly
trips him. He steps back again (looking incredulous, rightfully so) and we
finally got Jeff to put the rope on the ground so Martin could step over it. He
did birdie the hole so it wasn’t all that distracting (apparently)
Hunter
Mahan
So Jeff (Argus) is at the tee box. A woman across the tee box called
for medics so Jeff went running over to see what happened and called the medics
in the process. He thought it would be good to get the person in need water
(which was on the other side of the tee box, where Jeff originally was). So,
without looking, Jeff darts across the tee box………right as Hunter Mahan was
getting ready to tee off. According to sources on the tee box, Hunter said
“what the heck is that guy doing?” Once told it was a medical emergency, Hunter
was okay with it, but I’m fairly certain the process could have gone down with
a bit more subtlety.Rory’s caddie
The story goes that Rory hit his second shot a bit left and it wound up in the ropes, where the spectators stand. Jeff (Argus) went (SPRINTED) over to start clearing the people away so Rory could get his ball. He paused to wait for Rory’s playing partner to hit his second shot. After he hit, in Jeff’s rush to make sure all the spectators were clear, he turns and slams right into Rory’s caddie. Nice Jeffy.
Graemey
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So Graemey (Graeme McDowell) was practicing by himself on the last
day. I hadn’t seen him the first two days and this was the last day I could bring
my camera and take pictures. I was very bummed and then he appeared out of
nowhere – all by his lonesome. I was actually walking out to go home when I saw
him so quickly made it back to the tee box. He was looking at his yardage book
when up comes Darren Clarke. Another one of the guys I would love to have a
beer with. They give each other a friendly handshake-half hug (the way guys do)
and get to talking. All of a sudden I hear Graemey talking about his bachelor
party – happening Sunday night – in NY! WHAT?!?!? I needed details! DETAILS!
Unfortunately, hiding behind the tree in true stalker position, I couldn’t get
the whole story. As Graemey was walking away – sans Darren – a Japanese
photographer threw a golf ball to Graeme and asked him to hold it up near his
face. It was a very funny exchange between the two. They obviously know each
other. So on Sunday, I see the photographer and engaged him in a very
broken-English discussion. Eventually, I tell him I would love one of the
pictures he took of Graeme. He tells me “give email.” I RAN to get paper and
pen and wrote down my email address. Sure thing, next morning I had a picture
of Graemey holding the golf ball next to his face. It was great.
Freddie
Jacobsen
Guys going for the green on 10 can quite easily hit the tee box on 2
(where I was most of the time). Without
warning, a ball comes flying and lands about 3 feet in front of me. I dutifully
marked it with a flag and waited for whomever hit the ball to come over to find
it. Jacobsen walks over, picks up the flag, says “who wants this?” and without
looking, throws the flag at my leg. Fan lost!
Ernie Els
Lee Hummel has a great story about Ernie Els and his caddie. I cannot
repeat it so if you want to hear it, ask Lee. It’s a good one.
Matt Goggin
Between the #2 and #5 tee boxes (which were right next to each other),
there are two port-o-potties. I used them frequently because I have a bladder
the size of a pea. They were behind the ropes so they were for players,
caddies, and security/cops. I probably shouldn’t have used them, but I was
working and I need to make sure that Jeff wasn’t decaptitating people or
running across tee boxes. Anyway, I had a break between people teeing off so I
run to the bathroom. Open the door and look at the toilet and find POOP ON THE
SEAT! WHAT?!?!? It was only a tiny little piece of poop, but it was definitely
fresh. I cleaned up – very carefully – and upon exiting told Mark Wachter. He
goes, “Matt Goggin just left that port-o-pottie.” We laugh and then he says
“his new name is Matt Poopin.” We laugh again. Now, I have no idea if Mr.
Goggin used the toilet or the urinal so it very well may not have been him that
left a little present, but I’m just sayin……………..
You did
WHAT?!?!
So there were several rain delays. When they call for darkness or
weather, players mark their balls until the next time they can get out. In one
case, it was the next morning. So we dispatch our team to their relevant areas.
One of those areas is a landing area where a majority of the players will and
their ball on their 2nd shots (it was a long par 5). These people
are responsible for making balls in the rough with little flags so players can
easily find the ball once they walk up. As the volunteer, we’ll call him Jay,
assigned to the landing area got to his place, he saw the little flag for
marking balls in the rough, along with 4 white tees neatly placed in a little
square. He had never worked that area
before so he grabbed the flag………….AND THE FOUR TEES! Now, for those of you that
are not golfers, please allow me to explain. The four tees were placed there by
a caddie who was marking a player’s ball because they called the round for
darkness the day before. Jay, having picked up the four tees, essentially
screwed that player because neither the player, nor the caddie, would know
where the ball was supposed to be played. As the players were walking up the
hole to resume play the next morning, Jay realized his error. In a fit of
panic, he quickly put the tees back in the ground where he thought he picked
them up. The caddie gets up there and says to his player “this is NOT where I
marked your ball. I marked it X inches from that divot and X feet from the
fairway,” etc., etc. Jay, feeling guilty
(and embarrassed) did the right thing and confessed to the caddie and player.
The rules official ruled that the player had to hit the ball from where Jay put
the tees back down. Apparently, this was Jay’s first rodeo.
Jason Dufner
Never in my life have I seen someone, younger than 90, walk as slow
and in such a trance as Jason Dufner. I swear, I could have ran the 556 yard
hole in the time it took him to walk from the #1 green to the #2 tee box. I
will demonstrate once I see you again. Absolutely hysterical, but at the same
time, I wondered if he wasn’t battling the downside of a SEVERE depression.
Sheesh, pal. Lighten up a bit.
Paddle
people
So we have volunteers stand behind the players as they tee off with
fairly long bright yellow paddles. The paddle people signal to the people in
the landing area which way the ball is going (because the people in the landing
area are 300 yards away and can’t see the tiny little white ball very well).
This position was not held by the same volunteers the entire day. Instead, we
rotated every hour. There were 2 volunteers – one would stand with one paddle
on the left side of the tee box and one volunteer would stand with the other
paddle on the right side of the tee box. As the players teed off, the paddle
people would start motioning with the paddles if the ball was going left,
right, or straight. Well, the paddle people didn’t always signal the same way.
We would have one person signaling the ball was going left and the other
signaling it was going right. On one occasion, the FANS were actually making
fun of the paddle people for not being able to signal in remotely the same
direction. Oy vey.We were on TV with Tiger
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